This is a testimony of God's mercy and grace.  Back in 2013 I felt a call in my spirit to quit my job.  I had just returned home from San Diego in 2012 and had returned to my old job, a job I knew I shouldn't have returned to--figuratively speaking I was returning to Egypt--the very place the Israelites wanted to return to when fear gripped them.  They had seen the mighty works God  had done but two things heeded their walk in freedom--first they didn't have a right view of who God was and fear gripped their hearts.  This is was my problem precisely.
After a year at that job, I was miserable. I couldn't gain any sense of control over the depression that had descended unto me like a black cloud.  Anger had become my best friend and all the compassion I had for others disappeared.  Life became such a struggle and I felt like a caged animal.  I blamed all of this on my job and some of the people I worked with.  It became so bad that I would actually began crying from the moment I got into my car until I got to the parking lot at work.   During this entire year I still sensed I needed to quit and rest.  It was during this time I began to develop back spasms that at times would paralyze me.  The pain would come and go but really didn't impede my working.
I decided that I did indeed need to quit but I needed another job and so I found one and quit the one I had!  The only problem was thst when I began the new job, my shoulder began to hurt and my arm had begun to be very painful, so much so that I could barely lift it.  I went to the doctor and was told that I had a rotator cuff tear and a bicep tear! I had only been on my new job less than 6 weeks and I was being told that I needed surgery!  I also found out during that time that because I had less than 6 weeks I wouldn't be eligible for disability or FMLA, so essentially if I had surgery my job would not be protected!   I decided to put off surgery for as long as possible.  I prayed for relief from the pain but none came and finally I had to schedule the surgery!  Not only was the pain was wearing on me but the job was awful and even though I always enjoyed customer service I hated this job. Once I told my supervisor I had to have the surgery, miraculously they came up with a plan for me to keep my job.
I had the surgery and as I was healing it became more and more clear that I was suppose to not go back.  I emailed my employer and told them I would not be back.
Then Dj announced his plans to come home and he and Rumiko wanted to get married in the states! Immediately I began to look for another job because it was my greatest desire to pay for their wedding.  I rationalized that I would only work until I had all of the wedding paid for.  I got a temp job and began working again.  Every paycheck went toward the wedding.  It came with a cost.  I was still healing from surgery but then the back pain began!  At first it would hurt and I could take some ibuprofen and it would feel fine again, but gradually the pain worsened and I began taking more and more medication. I went to the doctor and was told it was my sciatica and was told that the pain should lessen. I was given more drugs and physical therapy but the pain increased in intensity and frequency.  By this time the wedding had happened and it was beautiful!  I began sensing in my spirit again I was coming to a crossroad about being obedient to what I knew I was suppose to do or keep doing what I was doing and never experience the abundant life that Christ promised because by this time I was going through another but of depression. During this time I began bargaining with God.  One day I said to the Lord " the perfect job for me would be a job I worked from 10-3, a place that I could be free to express my faith and where I could help people.  Finally I decided that I wanted God's will more than a job.  I decided to give my two weeks and then a miracle happened!  I had stopped by our church, can't remember the reason, and was told that they needed a substitute secretary for the month of June!  I asked the times they would need someone in the office and guess what? Remember my bargain with God? Yep that is right the position was part time, 4 days a week and the hours were from 10-3!!!  I knew this was God! The hours were perfect, I was totally able to express my faith and I would totally be helping people!  Totally an answer to prayer right?!  Well I was there for the month that I was suppose to be substituting and I enjoyed it.  When the regular secretary returned I was able to stay on and help the pastors.  The month I substituted my back pain was minimal, nagging at times but not debilitating.
Within a month of accepting the permanent position, my back began hurting again.  The intensity began to really increase and frequency of the pain became more until it was a constant.  I was having a harder time doing my job duties and many tears were shed.  Also that dark cloud of depression began to descend again.
I continued working in this position for another 10 months.
I knew by this time something was going on and more and more I heard in my spirit I needed to quit and rest.  I struggled so for by this time I had no doubt that I was being disobedient to what I was called to do 2 years prior!  Many things began to become very clear to me, but also fear began to grip my heart.  Cary had finished school and he would no longer be receiving the living stipend that he had been getting from the VA.  I knew God was calling me to quit my job.  Losing those 2 sources of income  would leave us short $ 2800 a month!  That was crazy!! How could I quit my job now?!!
I am not sure why the Lord has always given me dreams when I need direction or when I need to pray for others, but He does and I am so thankful that He does.   In three days I had as many dreams and then strategically God placed a series of videos into my life that talked to my heart, to exactly where I was.  He also led me to three scriptures that I have hung onto ever since. I truly believed at this point I needed to be obedient to God's call to quit my job and BE STILL and Know He is God.  So many fears began to assail me  but I knew that if I wasn't obedient, my relationship with Lord would suffer.  I wanted that abundant life He promised and finally came to the conclusion I needed to surrender BUT I still wanted confirmation that I was doing the right thing . So on this Friday I decided I was going  my 2 week resignation to my Pastor on Monday. Then the miraculous happened!  Up until the day of my decision to give my resignation my back was bad! I cried a lot from the pain and was taking so much pain medicine that I was getting concerned I would have to start taking heavy duty pain pills to combat the pain. By nightfall the pain in my back and hip had subsided considerably.  By the next morning the pain was pretty much gone!!!  Then Sunday came.  I went to church and began to think that maybe I was doing the wrong thing and fear had become more paralyzing and I began to rethink the whole resignation thing!
  The moment the thought came to my mind, a sharp pain went up my back!  I am not joking!  I knew right then I had my confirmation that I was doing what I was suppose to do.  I worked my last 2 weeks and the pain in my back almost disappeared completely! I had not been that pain free for over 2 years!  It has been 6 weeks or so and I can testify that my back is fine!!!!  I have spent the last 6 weeks being still and knowing God and I am overwhelmed!  This only one of the many testimonies that I want to tell!  Our God is an amazing God and the love He has for us is immeasurable!  So if you have made it to the end of this post, I am sorry for the length, but I had to set the scene for the miracle of my back but for the future posts of the testimony of what God has done and is doing in my life!  Stay tuned and prepare to be encouraged!  Praise to Jesus for His love and care!